New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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