He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i believe in u and ur pee
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
