He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize