you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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