I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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