Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hippo gnu deer
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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