From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
