my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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