wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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