Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize