Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
