i barfeds in our rink
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize