I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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