So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
