i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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