We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
