I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
