Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
