i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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