threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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