I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
