I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
