my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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