So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
