My liver just broke up with me...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize