She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
as a side note pls kill me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
