Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want a musical about memes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
