I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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