I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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