piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize