i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
