Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
