im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize