Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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