i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
