Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
