can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
