I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize