I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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