it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize