you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
this will be a night to untag.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
