I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
