We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
