thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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