so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
