I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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