I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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