CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
