You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and she was petting her beer can
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
