Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
