Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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