hotel room ftw
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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