What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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