Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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