the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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