I could make wine with my vomit
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
