The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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