matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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