Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
