My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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