when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
